November 2011
at&t is the worst company on the face of the planet. waited 24 days for my phone to be delivered (when it was supposed to take 7) and when it finally arrives it refuses to activate and i have to spend 5 hours trying to do what should be done in 5 minutes
October 2011
If you love your mom, repost this. One girl didn't...
itsaprettything:
i hate shit like this but just reblogging to be safe <3
“You just do it. You force yourself to get up. You force yourself to put one foot...”
– Elizabeth Taylor (via thechocolatebrigade)
Las Vegas casinos are the worst places to walk in while wearing tight, short Halloween costumes
Reblog or your mom will die in 928 seconds.
Fuck
reefr asked: so, how was detention?
Walking around feeling strange all day. You’re out of your element, Donny
thechocolatebrigade:
My mom has committed the ultimate sin in life. Who in god’s name fucking likes Creed? Apparently my mom does. Fucking gross.
“Does it break my heart, of course, every moment of every day, into more pieces...”
– Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close by Jonathan Safran Foer (via thechocolatebrigade)
Why being a girl isn't working out for me:
Body: Oh, guess what time of the month it is!
Me: Please, god, no--
Ovaries: ALL SYSTEMS GO0O0O0OO0OO0O0O0
Brain: I quit. i quit. kittens and cupcakes and no one loves me. oh my god salty snacks i am furius
Me: Please, guys, calm down--
Face: TIME TO RUIN EVERYTHING YOU HAVE EVER LIKED ABOUT ME. I'M GROWING MOUNTAINS, BITCHES.
Brain: And now I'm ugly! shbdksdnksbn
Torso: Time to practice labor. cramp this bitch up. GO GO GO GO GO GO
Me: STOP IT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!
Stomach: lol clothes cant fit you anymore. you are bloated. you are now a balloooooooon!
Me: I hate you all
Brain: I KNOW EVERYONE HATES ME I AM SO DEPRESSED. we need to procreate.
Face: Lol, i'm not done yet.
Uterus: what did i ever do to deserve this?
Brain: you just wait uterus. they're going to make you hold a baby for like 10 months straight.
Uterus: You mother fuckers.
Torso: CONTRACT!
Me: I quit being female, I am now a llama.
Brain: Me gusta.
